Are You More Like a Butterfly or a Snail?

Who Are You?

In her previously published book The Butterfly & The Snail (2013), Mary Sullivan Esseff wrote about the adventures of Rebecca Butler and Khalil Khoury.

In the sequel, Wedding Tales, Book One: Love’s Journey, their journey together in life begins with new exciting and adventurous stories. As they appear both in the first of the series and as they continue in the sequel, their personalities strongly resemble those of a Butterfly (Rebecca) and a Snail (Khalil).

Which of these two creatures in nature do you most resemble? These are not gender specific. You can resemble one or the other in personality type.

Before deciding, you may need to look at two sets of characteristics described below:

1. Look first at the personality characteristics that the Butterfly and the Snail symbolize;

2. Look at Rebecca and Khalil’s personality characteristics. Then, decide which your personality more closely matches.

Symbols of The Butterfly

One of the first features the Butterfly displays is its metamorphosis from egg to glorious colorful butterfly. The entire life of the butterfly is consumed in change, transforming itself from one completely different stage to another. Because of its intense stages of growth from caterpillar to cocoon to butterfly, it is most often seen as a symbol of transformation in nature. The entire transformation from egg to butterfly takes about a month, almost the entire life of the butterfly.

Yet, this transformative adventure in the life of the butterfly happens quietly without notice of its expenditure of energy. At each stage, it looks like a completely different being than its former self. Placed side by side, you would not be able to recognize one belongs to the other. The butterfly accepts these changes casually, normally, without any difficulty. Change – and transformation – is as normal to the butterfly as night turning into day.

Change is the heart and soul of the butterfly. In Greek mythology, for example, the name Psyche (a Greek goddess) means soul and her symbol is a butterfly. In early Christianity, also, there is evidence linking the butterfly with the soul. For example, in the catacombs, you find illustrations of Jesus holding a butterfly. These early Christians looked upon the butterfly as a symbolic representation of the soul because through his resurrection, Jesus was also transformed.

Symbols of The Snail

The snail carries its home with it wherever it goes. It is self-sufficient and self-reliant. It actually is able to create its own shell, its own home. It feels at home everywhere and anywhere. In a way, its home is its heart and soul. Its comfort arises from within itself and needs no outside help to feel at home. The snail spends all of its time alone. It is not a social creature.

The snail’s covering provides it protection from the elements. It even reproduces itself, thus has no need for sex partners. It has been seen in many cultures as a symbol of fertility.

In nature, the snail represents the slow but sure and constant progress of movement. “Why the rush,” the snail seems to say. “I’ll get where I want to go, but at my own time and at my own slow but steady pace.”

Snails are lunar creatures. You find them most active when the moon is out. Like the moon, they hide and peek out at you but do not overwhelm you with very bright and colorful rays of light. They are born in summer. They hibernate in winter, adding to their solitary nature.

The snail’s spiral shell symbolizes the circle of life on earth: birth, death and rebirth. Just as in all of life, the snail represents the time it takes for all three life cycles to reach maturity. Ancient cultures saw the snail’s life cycle as tied to their harvests, once again represented by time for birth, death and rebirth.

Rebecca: Butterfly

In the first two books of this series, Rebecca Butler displays many of the characteristics associated with the butterfly. In Salzburg, Austria she is the center of many of the social activities both at the Summer School and on the many student tours throughout Europe. She wastes little time in making decisions. She is quick to find solutions to problems as they frequently arise.

For example, in B&S, she manages to get her normally conservative parents to pay for her trip to Europe by enrolling in Georgetown’s Summer School German Studies abroad. She spends wonderful weeks traveling alone through several foreign countries, finding youth hostels and even enlisting two young men as guides and protectors.

Later, in Wedding Tales, in preparing for her marriage, she convinces her financially strapped parents to allow her to cater her own wedding. With the help of Khalil, her roommates, close friends and even one of her siblings, she manages to prepare everything necessary for a splendid marriage ceremony: all the food for the reception, the wedding cake, the flowers, the venue, the Church, the ministers, etc. She moves effortlessly from one problem-solving event to another, gathering all the energy from her surroundings to achieve remarkable results.

Khalil: Snail

Khalil seems happy and content in his snail-like life as a Jesuit religious. He is moving slowly, methodically and purposefully towards the goal of ordination as a Jesuit priest. He creates a home wherever he goes. In B&S, his new home is at the Woodstock Jesuit Theologate, in Woodstock, Maryland.

While at Woodstock, his superior sends him to Salzburg, Austria—away from home. There, he meets Rebecca Butler. He gradually becomes aware that Rebecca has fallen in love with him. He encourages her to look to other sources of love, especially to God, as he reminds her that he is going to be ordained and doesn’t want to hurt her.

Khalil spends the next full year back at Woodstock. There, he spends days, weeks and months struggling with the reality of how to convince Rebecca—and maybe even himself—that he cannot love her, except as a younger sister. He explains this week after week as he sends letters and poems to this beautiful woman trying desperately to reconcile his devotion to his sacred calling to be ordained with the burgeoning love for his “little sister” Rebecca.

Points to Ponder

1. How do Rebecca and Khalil resolve this apparent dilemma in B&S of Khalil's vocation as a priest vs. loving Rebecca.

2. As you read B&S, what outcome would you have predicted?

3. Do you believe the two characters reflect the characteristics of the butterfly or the snail?

4. What characteristics do you relate to, those of the butterfly or the snail?

5. In your relationship with your spouse or significant other, are you the butterfly or the snail? What leads you to this conclusion?

For answers to these and other intriguing questions, share Rebecca and Khalil’s journey of love as told in Wedding Tales, Book One: Love’s Journey, soon to be released (Launch Date, early May, 2015).